The words "Panic Attack" are probably forbidden at amusement parks.

It's true.

Squiggle Cow

This is her.

The Dirge of a Man Called Pueblo.

Pueblo grew up in a poor village in Mexico. He had twenty brothers and thirty sisters, but his mother was the most beautiful woman in the village, and his father was the sole sombrero maker in all the region.

Pueblo was just born on September 31st, but his family couldn't support him, because even though they were the onlly sombrero making family in the entire region, they were still very poor and could not support 21 children. So they gave up Pueblo, and in his sorrow the sombrero maker gave him a hat to forever love and cherish.


At the orphanage, a lovely family adopted him. But he was still in a Mexican orphanage, and his new family lived in Idaho. No problem though, because the Orphanage Postal Worker worked night and day and all she had to do was pack 'im up in a box and ship him out.

Stfu!! It's freakin humane, damnit!

Pueblo lived a lovely life on his new family's farm, never letting his father's sombrero off of his head for a second. On his lonely days at the farm, he would hang out with his best friend in the world, the Squiggle Cow. She was a cow with squiggles for her body. They did everything together.

That is, until Pueblo met the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. Her name was something Hindu and she was from India, and they fell in love right away.

They continued spending more and more time together, Pueblo forgetting his best friend Squiggle Cow, or that she even existed. When Pueblo announced to his family that he and Hindu Name were getting married, Squiggle Cow decided to set things right.

Pueblo and Hindu Name got their own little apartment in Lincoln, Nebraska. Squiggle Cow followed suit. One day when Hindu Name was out buying groceries and Pueblo had stepped out of his apartment, Squiggle Cow striked.

"Do you know who I am!?" She demanded him.

"You're a pretty odd cow, if that's what you're asking."

When Squiggle Cow realized that Pueblo didn't even know who she was, she was hurt and heartbroken.

But she had a plan to win him back.

~~~~

Return in the next installment for the horrific conclusion of Pueblo's Dirge!!

-Rachel

Passion Sidewalk

Wouldn't that be the coolest chapter name ever?? Like, if the book/fic was one of complete crack, I think that'd be pretty hilarious. XD Just like,

"After packing up their campsite, Jenny and Rachel and Michael, still in his disbelieving state, continued their journey to ask the Boonana King's guidance on how to slay the rouge jabberwocky. Aunt Jemima was leading the way through the Forest of Plupricots when a robot, no bigger the size than a computer drive, interrupted their walk, flying out from the brush and halting in the middle of the trail, facing them.

He was purple. What he was doing was purple.

Suddenly the sun went out, only to be replaced by a giant disco ball, forever altering the galaxy's orbitual pattern, thusly destroying those poor blind people that we do call asteroids.

The robot started dancing when blaring, pop/techno music came form the plupricot trees. Everyone danced with him, and it was a grand old time. Except for Michael, because this was just so out of his clown-induced comfort zone, and he burst into tears and went to the Emo Corner, which is always available to anyone who's in need."

And the name of that chapter would be Passion Sidewalk.


-Rachel